I worked for 12 years as a public school teacher. It was a great gig for me as a mom because I lived in the same town I taught in and would always be on the same calendar as my children. That means that in the summer I got a taste of what it was like to be a Stay At Home Mom. It was the right choice for me for short periods of time. I also remember maternity leave with my first, and how different that lifestyle was with my second.
If you are wondering whether Stay At Home Mom Life is the right choice for you, let’s look at the Pros and Cons.
5 Pros of Stay At Home Mom Life
You likely already have some PROS in mind if you are reading this blog post. Let’s see if they are the same as mine!
- Milestones and moments. You get to watch your child grow up and never miss a moment. You get to know their likes and dislikes and be there to help them work through life’s challenges.
- No daycare germs. If someone in your home has a compromised immune system or you don’t have a strong support system for childcare coverage for last minute illnesses, then the germs that other children can share in childcare facilities may be a stressor you are looking to remove.
- Control of your routine. When I was a public school teacher my bathroom and lunch breaks were scheduled for me and there was no flexibility. The days I could have off from school and take vacations were pre-determined. If I wanted a fall wedding and honeymoon it just wasn’t in the cards. If my doctor suggested I sit frequently or take a short walk every 45 minutes or drink more water or snack frequently, I laughed because that was not within my control. As a stay at home mom I can make a schedule that represents what is best for the members of my family. When their needs ebb and flow, our schedule can too.
- Flexibility to say yes. Someone invites you out at the last minute? You can make it happen! Someone needs to go to an appointment? No problem! You need to be home so someone can work on the house or you need to sign for a package, that’s not a problem because you have flexibility over your schedule. If your child suddenly seems like they might benefit from trying homeschooling, you are on deck and ready to dive in.
- Wardrobe, my personal favorite perk. Basketball shorts and a tee shirt. Yoga pants and a tee shirt. Capris and a tee shirt. Decisions, decisions, decisions. The money you save shopping for the perfect work wardrobe is shocking.
5 Cons of Stay At Home Mom Life
It’s not all sunshine and rainbows as a Stay At Home Mom. It’s important to think through these things and reflect about how you feel about them before trying out this lifestyle.
- Money. Taking away one income is a huge lifestyle shift that lasts a long time. It affects the day to day budget but also retirement and insurance. You have time to do more things, but can’t always cash flow them. You feel a lot of stress and guilt around that situation because it is your decision to stay at home that caused the financial stress and that can lead to . . . .
- Guilt. Some days you are a great mom, but the house looks like Jumanji. Sometimes you are Suzy Homemaker, but your child didn’t get a lot of hands-on time with you. Some days are filled with rich experiences, that you aren’t sure were wise financial decisions on your tight budget. Other days you elect free entertainment and wonder if it is adequate. Are you socializing and getting your child out enough? Are they getting enough independent play time? Are you offering a good balance of educational activities in the daily schedule? While it is great to have total control over the day, that can often come with a generous dose of guilt and overthinking. Sometimes this weight and pressure comes externally but often it comes from guilt that you place on yourself.
- Resume gap. Maybe you can’t picture yourself ever going back into the workforce but you never know when an opportunity may land in your lap. It is a good idea to look at your resume now and then and see what relevant volunteering work you might be able to add in the gaps to help fill in
the space . Sometimes when we look at our resume, we feel low self-confidence because our identity now is that of “just a mom.”
- No breaks. Sometimes you wish you could ask someone to make sure no one chokes or gets hurt so you can take a deep breath, calm yourself down, regroup, or make a quick phone call. There are no potty breaks, snack breaks, and lunch breaks some days. You have company all day long and yet it can be incredibly. . . .
- Lonely. You try as much as you can to fill each day with outings and lunch dates and playgroups but sometimes kids get sick and friends cancel. The absence of adult conversation is really hard on your mental state and can cause a sudden spiral for your mood that you don’t expect. Friends that you loved to talk in your working world may drift away once you have just a bit less in common.
I have been through seasons of life as a Stay At Home Mom, A Working Mom, and a Work At Home Mom and there are pros and cons of all of these roles. NONE of them are easy and the right answer for you is a very personal decision. If you found this to be a helpful read, share it with a friend! You may also enjoy reading:
If you would like some help making the decision that is right for you, grab this FREE WORKBOOK. I have been at this crossroad and it is a HARD decision but once I found the perfect fit for me it was a game changer. I wake up each morning truly excited about what is on my Google Calendar and I know you can get there too.
